(I'm going to sound like a dick, now that @thepixelizer said something so heartfelt, but in this particular kind of case that is the only way I'm confident in to get my point across - and I think this is more important than my "reputation".)
I feel that it is best to be direct here... The Newgrounds community can be quite helpful when it comes to a lot of topics, but it is _not_ a place that's ideal to ask for help when you're considering ending it all. Regardless, some users 'do ecactly that'. I don't blame any of them, but our community does not exactly consist of professionals trained to help in situations like these. Most of us come here to appreciate art, play games, have a friendly chat, or look at drawings of naked people.
So, please consider adding the following links to your bookmarks while you contemplate what to do next.
International Suicide Hotlines:
https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/
List of suicide crisis lines on Wikipedia:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
thepixelizer
We’re mostly losers here on newgrounds. Have ever seen pictures from the meetups?
Artists don’t really fit in too easily with the main crowd, we never really did.
But that doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you.
That just means you have a mind of your own.